


Live-Action Porno

by Tangerine



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Coming Out, First Time, M/M, Public Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-11-19
Updated: 2000-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:48:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine/pseuds/Tangerine
Summary: On the cusp of new understanding, Bobby Drake and St. John Allerdyce come to a realization of truths.  The catalysts to new discoveries, Rictor and Shatterstar, enigmas from Mexico.





	Live-Action Porno

"There sure is a lot of them," Rogue whispered, peeking over the ledge of the window to carefully watch the mulling about of people. "Oh, there's Alpha Flight, the Canadians. I heard that it's better for mutants up there, that they get paid to work for the government."

"Yeah? That's cool," Bobby replied, eyeing the crowd of mutants. "Whoa, John, dude, check out the babe in the black dress, the one with the big ..."

"Big what, Bobby?" Kitty asked when Bobby paused, smiling sweetly. "The one with the big, manly, gorgeous, blond brother? Because if that's what you meant, and I really hope it is, I see them, too. The Braddocks, I think, from England."

"As in Captain Britain?" Bobby looked at the huge man, mildly disappointed to finally see the _pretty_ face behind the mask. "But isn't he _not_ a mutant? I mean, I get a bit confused about who's what these days, but I thought it was due to that suit he wears, the one that looks like he swallowed a flag?"

"Maybe he's been lying," John suggested, scanning the mutants, "because, see, that other blond guy, the one with the leather jacket and talking to Mr. Summers? That's Warren Worthington, the millionaire, and he's claimed a hell of a lot of times that he's not a mutant."

"Kitty, we gotta go," Rogue said quietly, tugging on Kitty Pryde's sleeve, pulling her away from the fascinating people-watching. "We're supposed to be helping people find their rooms. Come on. Dr. Grey will kill us if we're late."

"It's your fault for volunteering us," Kitty countered, reluctantly standing up and putting the pillows back onto John's bed. Rogue and Kitty argued as they left the room, both remembering the other as being too nice to say no to Dr. Grey.

"Who is he?" Bobby asked suddenly, looking up as John leaned over his shoulder, trying to find where Bobby was pointing. "Right there. The tall guy with the orange hair, the one who's looking at us right now!"

John hissed, "get down!"

"God, the Professor is going to slaughter us if he realizes we've been spying on the guests. This is so your fault. I wanted to play some video games, stay out of the way like the Professor said, but you just had to be nosy."

John shoved Bobby out of the way and lifted his head again, peeking out at the crowd. "You have no idea who that guy is, do you? Fuck, Bobby, you are so out of it. Really. Have you heard about that guy in Mexico, Rictor? He's a year older than us. He's, like, the Batman of Central America, works by night, fights for justice, total hero behaviour."

"Yeah?" Bobby sat up and found himself focusing on the red-headed man again, noticing how no one was even looking at him despite the fact he stuck out like a sore thumb. "So, Mr. Know-It-All, who's the guy staring at us?"

"His boyfriend," John replied quietly. "They're gay."

"No way." Bobby shook his head. "He is so not."

"Fuck off. I know I'm right. They've been here before during Thanksgiving, when you went home; they shared a room even when they were assigned one each. They totally snuck around and stuff, and when they look at each other, Bobby, you can tell they're mad-on in love with each other," John said, looking over the crowd, trying to find his proof. "There. The dark-haired guy talking to the Professor. Rictor."

"Neither of them look gay," Bobby said slowly.

"You are such a dickhead. How does someone look gay? You're such an asshole sometimes, Bobby," John said suddenly, hitting Bobby off his bed, and Bobby blinked stupidly, not quite sure how he got to the floor. "You're just like your dad when you talk like that."

"Fuck off. I'm not like him at all," Bobby retorted angrily.

"You wouldn't know a gay man if he came up and offered to give you a blowjob," John replied, wondering just why Bobby was so idiotically blind. John couldn't be any clearer without actually saying the words, and Bobby might very well flip if he heard them. "But they are gay. Just watch them, Bobby, you'll totally see what I'm talking about."

"Why would I want to watch them? I don't care," Bobby mumbled, climbing back onto the bed and looking out the window, trying to focus on somebody, _anybody_ , else, but he couldn't. "Whatever floats their boat, you know. I don't care."

John pretended not to notice where his best friend's eyes rested. "Whatever."

~~

"We are completely out of our league," Julio Richter said quietly, looking around at all the familiar faces, all which were only recognizable because he had seen most of them on television. "We're, like, the really _sucky_ mutants they felt they should invite."

"At least you are the hero and not the sidekick," Shatterstar replied, looking around at the groups of people and recounting the last news report given about each of them. Shatterstar did things like that and people thought it normal. "Or the boyfriend. I am getting looks."

Rictor held up the single room key, admiring it, so silver and small. "You're just paranoid, babe. And you're not my sidekick. If anything, I'm yours. We're just small potatoes to these people, two kids trying to be heroes. But look, one room."

"Did they run out of space this time?" Shatterstar smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood in the crowd. Julio shrugged and put the key in the pocket of his black jeans, metal against an equally firm body. "How long until we move to Canada for the summit meeting?"

"A week, I think. Professor Xavier wants to make sure we're all on the same wavelength, you know, that none of us fuck up this fight for mutant rights. Sounds exciting as hell," Julio added dryly, "and Madre de Dios! That's Northstar!"

"He is leering at me," Shatterstar replied calmly.

Julio's look of awe became slightly more hardened as he clearly sent out don't-mess-with-my-man vibes. "Bastard. I always heard he was a jerk, you know, so he better stay away from you or I'm going to have to assert my alpha-maleness."

"Julio, I do not think you have alpha-maleness."

"Shut up."

~~

Bobby Drake had always considered himself an open-minded type of guy, not like his father at all, so just the fact John had suggested such a preposterous idea didn't sit well with him. John acted like he expected Bobby to be some raging homophobe when that just wasn't the case, not at all.

Bobby walked through the halls of the mansion, slipping into the Great Room where the Professor was giving a talk about Mutants Rights and why the Summit meeting in Toronto was such an important step. Mutant and humans would be gathering in one place, for the first time in a completely neutral setting, to discuss the rights and responsibilities of mutants and humans alike.

Bobby listened to Xavier for a few minutes before his eyes started to wander, looking at every mutant in the room. They were all so different, people from all over the world connected by one common thread.

And then there was _them_.

Shatterstar, Bobby had eventually found out, was the copper-haired man who had caught he and John spying on the party. No one knew where he was from or how exactly he had joined up with Rictor, but there was plenty of talk about whether or not they were friends or something more. Too young, some of them said, only friends. Others, like John, insisted they were obviously together as more than mere compatriots. Looking at them now, noticing how they both sat leaning slightly into the other, Bobby could see why John would think they were together, maybe, if he really looked.

There was nothing wrong with being gay, Bobby was able to think quite strongly. It was a conclusion he had come to years ago, a sentence he had been finally able to say after years of hearing otherwise from everyone he respected.

There was nothing wrong with _Bobby_ being gay was the part the young mutant had always had trouble accepting. Bobby tried to be straight, tried so hard that it hurt to think it didn't quite work, but he was no where comfortable with thinking he might be like _them_ , like Rictor and Shatterstar. If nothing else, he would never be able to handle the thought that people would be talking behind his back, wondering about his preferences in bed, speculating about who he loved and if _they_ were just friends.

Shatterstar curved his head and looked directly at Bobby, and it was only then that Bobby realized he had been staring. Flushing deeply, Bobby turned his gaze away and focused on Dr. Grey as she stepped up to speak.

"Hey," John whispered, stepping up to Bobby. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Bobby replied, staring straight ahead, not flinching, not even so much as breathing knowing John was so close.

"For pushing you off the bed. And for being a jerk. You're not like your dad at all. I'm just an asshole who's jealous because you have one and I don't, so I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you," John said softly, "okay?"

"Sure. We both know you're an idiot." And to further his point, Bobby smiled and all was forgiven. John nodded and looked relieved, returning the grin in a way that made Bobby's heart flutter. It was boyish and exotic all at once, Bobby always thought, it was no wonder every girl at school seemed to have a crush on the blond youth. "Want to skip out?"

"Sure," John replied mischievously, racing into the hall and waiting for Bobby to stride casually out of the room, which he did, slowly. "Come on, you slow ass. If Mr. Summers finds out we skipped his honey-bunny's speech, he'll maim us."

"Or make us train at four in the morning," Bobby replied seriously, "or something horrible like that. And he'd do it too. That one time I skipped class, he had me up at four to peel potatoes. And he watched me do it. I'm scarred."

John laughed and shook his head. "It's only because you _suck_ at lying. I would have covered for you, man, only say the word, and I'll do this," John lost the smirk and grew dead serious, "Bobby's sick, sir, he puked all over himself. It was disgusting. I don't think he'll be coming to class today. I think it's anthrax."

Bobby blinked. Hard. "Anthrax? That's deadly, man, Cyke wouldn't buy that for a second."

"All right, I'll go for something more your style," John said slyly, ducking into the trees and looking behind to make sure Bobby was still there. Those cool blue eyes answered his look, and John turned back to stare into the dark. "Syphilis?"

"Fuck you," Bobby replied, creeping through the steadily increasing dark. John stopped abruptly, and Bobby walked straight into him, hands immediately darting out to steady himself on a _very_ firm ass. "Uh. Sorry."

"My fault."

Bobby paused thoughtfully. No quips? No you-know-you-want-mes? That was slightly disheartening and a bit alarming, too, if Bobby wanted to be completely honest with himself. John was usually so outspoken. About everything.

When they came to the clearing on the other side of the tree line, John stopped just short of it and sat down in the cradle of the trees, kicking his sandals from his feet. Bobby sat opposite of the young man, looking at him and wondering he was secure enough with his own maleness to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," John replied, and that was that. For forty seconds, which was the longest Bobby thought John had ever held his tongue. "Just ... you ever think about _why_ we have to put mutants and humans in the same room? People hate us, Bobby."

"I know," Bobby said quietly, "but they're just ignorant. It sucks, but not much we can outside of what we are doing. I mean, the Professor has managed to gather mutants from all corners of the world together, united by a common dream. That's sort of cool. Nice."

John was about to say something more, something dreadfully serious, but he stopped abruptly, his jaw falling as he grabbed Bobby by the shoulders, pointing the ice-mutant in the direction he was looking. "It's them."

Bobby caught sight immediately of the couple John saw, Rictor and Shatterstar again, just walking, separated by a foot and not talking at all. Bobby lifted his eyebrows, ready to speak, but John shook his head, waiting for ... _that_ ...

Behind the big maple, the tree that blocked the sight of everyone from the mansion so perfectly that every kid considered it a make-out spot, Rictor was standing, just standing, still saying nothing. When Shatterstar stepped forward, both John and Bobby gasped quietly, eyes widening at the _kiss_ one bestowed upon the other, full mouth, hands in hair, legs entwined, a complete manifestation of a tangible love.

"We shouldn't ..." Bobby started, but John shook his head sharply, leaning forward and knowing he was completely hidden in the forest. Bobby wanted to look away, wanted to look anywhere else, but his eyes could not break from the passionate scene.

"You ever thought about it?" John asked quietly, turning back to Bobby and looking into his eyes, finding courage to say words not meant to be heard. He bit his lip, a nervous twitch, and dipped his fingers into his hair, tucking it behind his ears. "Like, with a guy?"

Bobby shrugged lightly.

John mirrored the gesture and turned back to the scene, watching the wordless play being acted. We shouldn't. Rictor, putting his hand on the broad chest. Why not? Nobody will see us. We are all alone. I love you. Shatterstar, stepping back and letting his lover decide. John looked at Bobby, gathering strength, hunting bravery.

"Bobby? Have you ever thought about it?"

"Fuck off."

John looked at Bobby, wishing he had brought his lighter, wanting to have some light to confirm what he suspected, needed to see Bobby's fear, his panic ... his arousal. John ran his hand over the swell in his own jeans, the sheer _heat_ of his cock pressing against denim, and he breathed in sharply, dropping both hands to the cool grass, grabbing the words.

John looked at Bobby and guessed blindly. "You're hard."

"No, I'm not."

"So am I," John whispered, laying the palm of his hand over Bobby, to cup him and feel the weight between his fingers. Bobby froze, made a strange sound, and John pressed his hand more securely against that incredible organ, indenting his own erection against the small of Bobby's back. "Have you ever thought about it, Bobby?"

"No."

"I have," John continued, rolling his hips against Bobby's own, feeling the shock of electricity that shot like pure fire through his body. Bobby was still, too still, like a doll without life. "With you."

"Fuck off!"

And Bobby pushed John away, barely noticing when his friend hit the tree and keeled forward, and Bobby ran as fast as he could away from that terrible place, away from the secrets, but more than that, away from the truths.

~~

"Are you all right?" Rictor asked softly, trying not to look at the noticeable stain on the pale blue jeans. It was dark, but the shimmer of the moon provided just enough contrast of light and dark that the mark bordered obvious. "I don't know your name."

"John."

"All right. I'm Julio. This is Shatterstar, but he might let you call him something else if he's in a good mood," Rictor said quietly, looking back to Shatterstar, who shrugged and said nothing. "But are you okay? Nothing happened here, did it? Something you didn't want?"

John sniffed and shook his head. "Nothing."

"You sure?" John nodded, and Julio nodded, and Shatterstar nodded, just because everyone else was nodding. Vicious cycle. Julio sat back and regarded his lover quietly, speaking without words to find a decision, permission to ask the question. "You were watching us?"

John turned a horrid shade of red, and Julio inwardly cursed himself for being so blunt all of the time.

"That's okay, you know, I can see why you'd be curious," Julio continued, mentally willing Shatterstar to jump in on the conversation, but as of yet, the quiet sidekick had remained just that, _quiet_. "And we appreciate the fact you didn't make a big deal out of it. I know a lot of people have trouble seeing men ... affectionate with one another."

John shrugged, pulling his knees to his chest and tucking his face in the dark space between his legs, mortified. Julio, only slightly less embarrassed by the whole situation, sighed deeply and wearily rubbed his face.

"We'll leave you alone now. We just wanted to make sure you were all right," Julio finally said, giving up a losing battle. "But if you want to talk about anything, you know, sometime it helps to gripe to someone you don't know. I'm not the sensitive one, but I'm sure Silent Bob here might have a comment or two to spare."

Shatterstar shrugged and still refused to speak, though the smile he couldn't quite swallow betrayed his humour. Reluctantly, Julio stood and walked away, wary to leave the kid alone but not quite man enough to stay. Shatterstar followed, mimicking the footsteps of his boyfriend before stopping.

"It may not be my place to say," Shatterstar said slowly, hair twisting exotically in the wind, long vines of copper touching the sky, "but give him time to understand what is happening. Julio ran away from me the first time. He has never run away again. Fear of their own desire for someone society tells them they should not love is a powerful weapon but unconditional understanding is an even greater one."

John nodded, and the lovers walked off, hand-in-hand, proud.

John just wanted a little bit of that, too.

~~

By the time John returned to the room he shared with Bobby, the mutant was already asleep, snoring softly like he did when he was napping lightly. John knew the moment he kicked one of Bobby's shoes into the bedpost than he'd woken his roommate up, though neither John nor Bobby verbally acknowledged the action.

John slid his jeans off, letting them crumple into a heap on the floor as he looked around for the boxers he always wore to bed. Frowning at the dried patch of semen on his skin, John kicked his clothing under the bed and crouched down, searching in the dark for something he couldn't find.

"What are you doing?" Bobby finally asked, trying to ignore the naked outline of his friend as crawled around on the floor, sorting through a mess in the pitch black of the room. "If you're looking for your boxers, I put them on the bed so you wouldn't have to search for them."

"Oh."

John stood up and quickly jumped into them, climbing into the same bed he had slept in for three years. He remembered first meeting Bobby, both boys freshly fifteen, newly mutants and not quite sure if the cocky punk from Australia and the quiet boy from Long Island would be able to tolerate each other, let alone become friends. Three years later, he knew the answer.

To put it simply, they clicked. Fire and ice, two opposites that made sense.

John snuggled into the covers, staring at the wall as he shivered. Immediately, his eyes teared up. Damn it. He _wasn't_ going to cry because that was just too much to deal with right now, the last _fucking_ thing John needed tonight.

John was only vaguely aware of Bobby standing up and stopping the centre of the room, wearing those Batman pyjamas he refused to throw out, even though they were three sizes too small. In spite of himself, John smiled. They used to fit Bobby.

And John fell asleep with a smirk on his face, loving the little things.

~~

"We are the fucking most awful role models in the world!" Julio declared the minute the door was locked, sitting down on the bed. "We fight crime, _sure_ , but we also put on a live-action porno for two kids. Xavier is going to kick us both to the curb."

"Julio, they are hardly children. You were seventeen, younger than them, when we first joined forces, and you assured me you were no child," Shatterstar replied, tugging the elastic out his waist-length hair and shucking his jeans as he walked. "So now, take off your clothes and let us finish this live-action porno."

"Nice," Julio replied, laughing as Shatterstar pounced, pushing him back and straddling his hips. "But these kids have it harder than we did. To me, you were just a handsome stranger who saved my lousy superhero ass one night, but I needed help, and you had nothing better to do. Those guy are going to have every student in this school watching them, every teacher trying to protect them, every set of eyes within ten miles just staring."

"And we are the two queer superheroes from Mexico who do nothing but stop petty crimes and various domestic assaults. That is all they talk about, that is all people see when they look at us. Their life is no harder than ours, and we deal just fine."

"You're just a big raging ball of sensitivity tonight, aren't you?"

Shatterstar smiled impishly and shook his head, slipping down that slender body under his hands, dragging kisses down darkly tanned skin. "No, I am just horny and hard and want very much to make love to you. I do not want to talk about them. I want to suck your dick. Right now."

Julio barely had time to swallow before his pants were at his ankles, and that _mouth_ , Julio arched his back and reached for it, that _hot_ and _determined_ mouth swallowed him whole. No hello, no moment of reflection, just a tight throat, thin lips, hands on his ass bringing him into the great beyond, so possessive and needy and just ...

Julio came with a whimper, trying to remember how surrounded the room was and how whoever lay on the other sides of those too-thin walls would know two men were fucking, setting the world off its axis because two likes were meeting like dynamite, explosive.

"We can talk now if you like," Shatterstar said softly, licking the semi-hard organ and nuzzling it against his cheek, cradling it in the warmth of his hand. "Or I can show you again how much I love you, Julio."

A decision made.

"Fuck talking."

~~

It was barely two when John awoke to the sound of skin and sweat and air through clenched teeth. It was something they each heard often and usually paid no mind to the soft whimpers and slap of slick flesh, but to hear it now, John closed his eyes and wanted to fade away.

His cock stirred, alive again and dancing to the sounds his best friend made, rising gently until awakened fully, aware and needy, such a selfish thing. John turned in bed and was met with profound silence, the fear of being caught, the denial of sexuality and desire and primal want.

John lay on his back, staring at the white ceiling. "Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

John's fingers slipped below the elastic of his boxers, into the darkened heat, and he gripped himself, replaying that one word over and over again, making it into more than sound, forming it into touch. "Do you hate me, Bobby?"

A pause. "No."

"Do you love me, Bobby?"

And silence.

~~

Julio arched his back as Shatterstar entered him, slowly with warmth, gently with care. Words, Julio heard in the distance, whispered in his ear, sang delightful secrets about love and joy and pleasures of the soul.

Heat. Shatterstar licked the back of his neck then bit it softly, teeth scraping as lips came to seal the mark, wet saliva. Julio lifted his body, wanting to deepen the touch, and he moaned as hands came upon his chest, pulling him back, impaling him onto rock-hard desire.

Back against smooth pectorals, Julio leaned against the strength of steel, staring at the wall. His legs sat astride kneeling thighs, the Mexican's body spread to welcome the throbbing power of his lover, both sitting up, both seeing with aligned eyes, one creature.

Shatterstar sucked that dip of skin between neck and shoulder, fucking slowly, deeper into fire as fingers touched the other's erection, slicking pre-come along burning shaft as a roaming palm caressed the beauty of man.

No words, none needed, just silence.

~~

John sat to watch the sunrise, out on the grass with a can of Coke. Bobby was sleeping when he left, which was just as well because it was so much harder to face him in the light. John lowered his head, rubbing his tired eyes. Why had he let himself do that?

In the distance, Shatterstar was ... doing something. John watched as the tall and powerful body sliced through thick morning air, arms crossing and legs stepping, exercising in a way that made John's heart pound.

"Beautiful, isn't he?"

John looked up to see Rictor with a cup of steaming coffee, tired but glowing.

"We met by chance, I was getting the shit kicked out of me and it triggered some deep need to help in him. He saved my life that night, and all I could say was thank you. Two stupid words that didn't begin to describe what I felt."

"Did you know when you saw him that he was gay?"

"I barely realized I was, I was still too confused to realize it wasn't a curse. My family, well," Rictor's face lost its smile, "they never quite realized it. We live with my grandmother, fight crime by night, attend school by day. I don't even know what we're doing here."

John blinked. "You're mutants."

"Obviously." Rictor sat down. "But we're just young guys doing the right thing. Xavier tried to get me to come here years ago, but I wouldn't leave Mexico. I hate to shatter any illusions of nobility you might have about me, but the guilt of doing nothing drove me into doing something. I am not a good hero, but I'm smart enough to pretend I am."

"I'm afraid to talk to him," John said quietly, "to Bobby, the guy from last night."

"The fear only lasts a moment or two in the grand scheme of things, and it's terrible, and it's sickening, and it makes you want to curl up into a ball and die, but it goes away. I didn't want to say anything before because it wasn't my place, but the way he looks at you, it's _there_. It might be buried by shit, but it _is_ in him. He just needs time." Rictor stood up and blinked hard. "And god bless you if you've managed to find love that doesn't wake up at six o'clock in the morning every fucking day because he's got a complex about his body. Jesus."

John smiled a half-hearted goodbye, turning back to his can. Coke. At six in the morning. Dr. Grey would be appalled, but he thought Mr. Summers might actually appreciate the fact at least one student knew what dawn looked like.

Soon, John thought, Bobby would know what a wakening sun looked like, too.

John would show it to him.

~~

The second day of the pre-Summit meetings dragged and dragged and dragged until Julio realized he'd missed the last twenty minutes on account of closing his eyes for one second too long. More embarrassing was the fact he'd fallen asleep with his head on Shatterstar's shoulder, drooling on that nice black sweater and reaffirming their obvious relationship.

Julio tried to stay wide away as Professor Xavier blathered on about Mutant Rights and the importance of peace with humans, about why Magneto was wrong, about why the world hated and feared them. On and on, all things Julio had heard before, pointless arguments, stubborn men seeking the same thing.

_Care to share you opinions out loud, Mr. Richter?_

_Get out of my head,_ Julio thought loudly in response, lifting his eyes and glaring at the bald man who never faltered in his speech, never betrayed the intrusion of his thoughts into another's. _I said it then and I say it now. Leave my mind alone._

And his head was empty again, save for his own inner-monologue, which fumed and swore over unwelcome invitations into places others didn't belong. Julio sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, furious, and Shatterstar, sensing the fury, put his hand on his lover's thigh, holding him in the moment of sudden peace.

~~

"I thought Northstar was going to deck you when you said he sounded like Gerard Depardieu," Kitty whispered to Bobby, laughing quietly in the back of the class as Alpha Flight stepped into the hall, their moment of torture ended. "He's so uptight. I thought he was going to explode."

"He's probably going to kick your ass after class, Bobby, I'd be careful," John said, turning around in his seat and looking at his best friend. Bobby lost his grin and looked away, out the window, into the sky.

"He might want your ass for something else, Bobby," Rogue whispered, and she and Kitty giggled girlishly, oblivious to tension, not seeing Bobby's fear and anger and shame roll into one huge and gaping look of fright, but John saw it, felt it burn into his chest.

"Rogue, don't joke about that," John said quietly, "it's not funny."

Rogue looked immediately apologetic, "sorry."

And Bobby wouldn't even look anywhere but at the racing clouds, fixating on the beauty of the heavens and refusing to look anywhere in fear he'd seen something more grand because it was there, he knew, sitting in front of him, waiting.

~~

"I want it to be night again," Julio said quietly, "I need the dark to come back."

Shatterstar looked up, sitting cross-legged on the grass as Julio paced restlessly, refusing to come closer in fear of betraying a secret everyone knew. Around them, people mulled, not seeing anything, ignoring everything but the size of their own little worlds. Mutants, all of them, but really a bunch of strangers whose genes had more in common than they did.

"Julio, sit down. The sun is setting now."

And Julio sat, four feet away, holding one knee to his chest as the other leg tucked under his body. Shatterstar, not quite meaning that, moved behind the Mexican, touching his hand to the arched back as comfort for a fretful soul.

"I love you, Julio."

A pause to see who was listening, finding no one, sensing they were ignored.

"And I love you."

Just once, Shatterstar wished, there would be no hesitation.

~~

John returned to the room first, intending homework, and Bobby entered exactly seven minutes later, wanting nothing more than to _not_ see John sitting at his desk, reading. Bobby climbed on his bed and put on his earphones, melting into music.

Yet. Bobby turned to see John staring, wanting to speak or be heard or none of the above. It was unnerving, that look, full of words unspoken and feelings only beginning to be seen. Part of Bobby wanted to run away, but he stayed on his bed, returning that look even though it scared him.

"I'm sorry," John said brokenly, "about last night."

Don't be sorry because I wanted it, too. That's what Bobby wanted to say but what his lips actually formed was, "forget about it, John. It doesn't matter."

"It mattered to me," John snapped angrily and fled the room, just like that, just gone.

Bobby pressed his hands to eyes.

This was not happening.

But Bobby got up and followed him into the growing night, chasing something he was afraid to catch, not sure he'd have the strength to take it when he saw it again but hoping to hell there was a chance he would.

He was beginning to need it like a drug.

~~

"Here."

Shatterstar stopped, having followed Julio into the night without question. The trees hung low, the silence creeping in like fog, and they were alone, the last two men in the world. Their world now, where no prying eyes stared and no telling mouths told of private things.

"I'm worried about them," Julio said quietly, "and I don't know why."

"You are a hero. Heroes worry about things they cannot control."

Julio grabbed himself in a hug then submitted himself to a warmer one when strong arms enveloped his body, pressed against a warm chest. Lifting his head so his neck bowed against the beating of a heart, Julio opened his eyes and relaxed into the hold.

"Holy shit, Shat-man, I think you're right. Screw crime, I'm just going to help young, queer kids figure out what the _fuck_ they're supposed to do when the world hates and fears them. Or when their shy best friends won't admit the truth to themselves."

Shatterstar tucked his chin over Julio's shoulder, lips brushing against a strong and noble jaw. "But you admitted it eventually, and I forgave you for hurting me because you were afraid. Why can you not just let it go?"

"I called you ..." – no repetition, only memory – ".... a _very_ bad word."

"You were scared. You did not mean it."

Julio melted into that loving embrace, giving himself to it and not thinking, refusing to think, about what had come before. "I know. So please, Star, please tell me again why you love me then let me show you why I love you in return."

And lips kissed.

~~

"John?" Bobby whispered, coming to the water's edge of the small lake. John looked up, tear-stained cheeks, looking so young and scared and confused ... just like Bobby felt, sobbing inside his soul. "Hey, man, I'm sorry, okay? I'm fucking up here. Badly."

"Just tell me I'm not just making this up because I think I'm fucking losing it," John whispered, fists pressed to his temples. "Years, man, we've had years to learn each other inside and out. And I can't fucking tell what you're thinking anymore. Am I seeing something that's not there, Bobby? Am I yearning for something that I fucking dreamed?"

Bobby licked his lips. Fear. "It's there."

"Then why are you making me feel like ... like a freak?" John shivered at the word, crouching low into himself, bare feet digging into soft dirt. "I won't be afraid, Bobby, not if you're with me. I just can't _lie_ anymore."

"And I'm not sure I'm ready to tell the truth," Bobby replied with a gasp, eyes burning with scalding tears. "I know I'm gay, John, and you know I'm gay, but I'm don't think I want everyone else to know."

John picked at the grass, one strand, two, three, all tossed to the gentle caress of wind as it brushed passed with a kiss upon cold skin. "But I'm gay, too. Are you so ashamed to be like me, Bobby? Is this how your father taught you to feel?"

"He'll hate me."

John looked at the moon, such a cold and impersonal thing. "And I'll love you. Unconditionally. So you can live your life afraid or you can say to me now that I don't have to walk away from you. But I won't watch you _die_ in front of me, Bobby. I won't witness that."

Bobby closed his eyes, feeling one tear drop then the others follow, a second delay, painting his cheeks with sorrow. "I _can't_ , John."

"Then goodbye, Bobby."

And the strength ignited.

~~

Shatterstar lay on cool earth, bare back pressed into the frozen hand of grass as the night chill settled like stone upon the world. His eyes looked at the stars, counting them, as warm lips moved over his belly, inch by inch, loving.

A tongue, in the vee of his legs, kissing parts that wept of desire. Shatterstar closed his eyes and sent forth his fingers, dipping into long and dark hair, lost in silk. And his cock, a mighty and proud creature, sobbed at the touch of an insistent tongue.

Then that mouth was gone, chinning dragged up pulsing belly to find those sweetly parted lips. Gasps of air into open bodies, the lovers kissed under the shine of dull moon, drinking life and love and things without names.

Naked, they moved together, whispering of passion indescribable. Throbbing erection against throbbing erection, grinding into each other, coaxing out lust that heightened into a fevered yearning for obvious touch.

Legs hooked over slender hips, pulling closer. Gasps uttered into a silent night as arms tangled to grab at something precious. Thrusting. Skin that tasted of salt, rubbing together and pulling moans from open mouths.

And then, with lips kissed, the dark exploded into splashes of blinding colour, of white against shadow-drenched bellies.

Another live-action porno successfully filmed.

~~

Bobby wanted to run, needed to be a coward and hide under fluffy sheets, but instead he kneeled, begging forgiveness from a man who was too much more than just a best friend. John turned his head, and Bobby leaned into him, igniting a kiss.

Awkward at first, it melted into something new. Fingers curling into bleach-blond hair, Bobby kissed that mouth as well as he could, depending on instinct to guide him where experience lacked. A dry kiss that slowly evolved into the touching of tongues, something wet and sloppy and wholly beautiful.

"John? Bobby?"

John recovered first, twisting around the tree to see Scott Summers and Jean Grey, holding hands, obvious lovers. And Bobby, hiding behind John and frozen in place, their love not obvious at all, a secret tryst.

"Hi."

Scott looked at John, trying to guess at what they were hiding then moved to Bobby, seeing the dark shade of red where it had always been light pink. The boy was blushing. "You guys should be inside. Big day tomorrow. Early day."

John nodded slowly, agreeing. "We must have lost track of time."

"You must have. You know curfew is eleven on weeknights."

Bobby stood up first, walking away without words, and John followed slowly, catching Dr. Grey's eyes and understanding that she knew the truths even they could barely whisper. She offered a comforting smile, and John took it, held it, swallowed it whole.

"Good night."

~~

"Someone's coming," Julio hissed, jumping into his clothes, putting on a shirt that belonged to his lover. Shatterstar was already dressed, a different sweater, a smaller one, clinging to his chest. "Who's there?"

"Just us," Jean said quietly, grinning, fingers wound tightly with Scott's hand, clasped in the moonlight, beautiful. "It's a busy night."

"We were just admiring the stars," Julio offered lamely, knowing it would be completely obvious that they were wearing each other's clothing, Julio in an abundance fabric, Shatterstar without enough. "And well, trying to escape the mansion."

"It's not a place for lovers," Jean agreed, smiling warmly, "have a good night."

Cyclops never so much as blinked as the engaged couple moved on, voices hushed as lovers' voices do on peaceful nights. Julio let out a breath of relief, and Shatterstar laughed, resting his chin on that wonderfully worried head.

Julio looked up sheepishly. "We really have to stop with the public sex."

"Never," Shatterstar vowed quietly, laying an arm across Julio's chest to keep them tightly together. "I like the public sex."

"Only because you're an exhibitionist. People see your ass and want to see more, and you know this so you have no problem with it because you get off on it. Not that I mind much, just that we should really think twice before fucking where people can watch us."

"There are no eyes anymore," Shatterstar offered helpfully, fingers already sliding beneath the line of jeans around Julio's hips. "And we were not finished. See?" Like snakes, fingers slid between Julio's legs, cupping heavy desire. "Not done."

"Dios. You know the way to my heart."

"Through your groin?"

"Among others." Julio turned in those arms, breaking that intimate contact as he stood on arched feet, arm draped over slopped neck. "Just not in public, babe."

A kiss in the dark, promising of more, and they clasped hands, holding tightly to love.

~~

A familiar room, Bobby thought as he entered it, three years in the same one, with the same roommate, just the _same_ every day until now, this moment in time, it was decidedly different. Bobby looked back at John, whose eyes seemed to disappear into the dark. Brown eyes, a light colour that resembled hay in the autumn.

"John?"

"Yeah?" The voice hot against Bobby's neck, close, so incredibly near, and Bobby turned to face his best friend, his hands immediately coming to rest on that slender chest, shirt flattening beneath his fingers. "Bobby?"

"Do you think that maybe, if you like I mean, that maybe," Bobby bit his lip, flushed, laughed quietly, "maybe you'd like the, I dunno ... sleep with me? Like, in the same bed, you know, not necessarily _other_ sleeping. No pressure, John."

"And you say I'm the idiot," John whispered, wet lips brushing smooth cheek. Smiling, those fingers found their way back to that hard and needy crotch. Bobby gasped through clenched teeth, never having felt pleasure such as this. "Fine, in your bed, and naked, Bobby, I'll ask for nothing more than that."

Naked. Bobby blinked. Naked wasn't hard, a bit scary but not difficult, so he tore his eyes away from that quiet face and shrugged out of his clothing, going immediately beneath the covers and waiting. Just waiting. Too long, he feared, maybe John had just been kidding.

But then there was a body behind him, against his back, a hot and lean and _naked_ body, a manly body with manly parts. Like bodies should be, Bobby decided, all bodies should feel like John. That would be nice.

"Hey, turn over," John urged, tugging on his arm, and Bobby flopped onto his back, smiling faintly as the blush crept over his face. "I just thought of something. You think the Professor knows what's going on right now?"

"Like ... this?" Bobby asked, knowing fear.

"Guess it doesn't matter," John whispered, fingers touching the creased forehead, playing with short tufts of light brown hair. "We're legal, right? Two men. In bed. Together. So, like, fuck him, you know? It's our life. And it's not like neither of us don't want this, right?"

"Right," Bobby agreed, a quick nod of his head, and he bit his lip, like he tended to do, nervous. John smiled, kissing Bobby on the cheek, just a quick peck, just a breath of touch. "John, I haven't _ever_ done this. Not even kissing. With anybody. Ever."

"I've kissed," John offered slowly, deep in the blankets, hands on Bobby's face, feet touching the cold toes of the other mutant, nothing more, nothing less. "And ate a girl out once, no big deal. Other than that, Bobby, I lied."

"You ...?"

"Lied. Yeah. I'm not Mr. Experience, dude. Wish I was, but," John shrugged, "how hard can it be, right? I mean, I've done my research, man, did the porn sites thing, got the general idea. I know you've done it, too. You don't erase your history, man."

Bobby blushed fiercely. "Shit."

"No, no, that's good, you know? More for us to work with, not like I'm expecting anything, Bobby. I've thought about it, a fuck of a lot to be honest, but you know, what I don't know I'm missing, I'm not missing."

Bobby nodded and settled on the pillow, looking into the dark eyes, losing himself, just giving himself to something greater. "It's sort of weird. I'm lying here, and I know I haven't got a stitch of clothing on, and that's cool because there's nothing better than sleeping buck. But, like, I do this," pushed forward so hips touched, "and feel two cocks, man."

John hissed a breath, eye closing as mind fought to control an eager body. He'd spent so long thinking about this, yearning for this, wanting only to feel Bobby's body against his, without clothing, without lies. Bending into his best friend, bodies came together like glue, stuck and slowing drifting into one being.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

Bobby paused, breath caught on fearful hesitation. "Don't move."

John blinked, stealing the dark for a second before giving it back, open eyes seeing nothing but a barren wall. But the hands and the skin and the mouth, John could still feel Bobby, took the touch of him in as he lay there, not moving.

Lips on his belly, kissing intimately along a line of pale hair. John blinked again, head thrown as he rolled to his back. A mouth in places that had been saved for Bobby, places only ice would ever be allowed to melt. John hissed a sharp and painful breath, belly tightening automatically at the pleasure offered. Bobby's mouth, over him, sucking him, doing things that brought sparks of light to John's eyes. Pleasure, pure and innocent, a fire that burned under the fuel of youthful and honest desire.

"Am I doing it all right?" Bobby asked quietly, arms wrapped around John's legs, such long and lithe legs, feeling the squirm of his would-be lover under the arches of arms into chest. Cheek resting on the indent of hip, Bobby looked up at beauty. He had spent nothing less than eternity waiting for this moment. "John? I think you're really hot."

John smiled, eyes casting down to view the younger boy, passed the clenching belly and proudly erect cock, to the innocent and frightened eyes that looked up, convinced of a dream. "Yeah, Bobby? Well, I think you're pretty cool."

Bobby laughed, a deep sort of rumble that was hushed by the sudden press of flesh, a thigh lifted and pressed against his ribs. Inhaling, scent of man, and Bobby lowered his mouth again, licking, sucking, drinking of tastes unknown until now. And John, rolled like waves, into his mouth, and Bobby, ate as if he was starving, feasted until the sea exploded and rained down upon his throat.

Bobby sat up and licked his lips, a little bit shocked, a lot bit pleased. John's eyes, like midnight, opened slowly and focused on the pensive face, a hand lifting to brush a soft swell of cheek. Catching those fingers, Bobby smiled and kissed the palm.

John nodded, a knot in his belly as he made his decision. Breaking free, he rolled onto his stomach and looked under his bed, reaching blindly, grabbing at plastic. Bobby watched, unsure, confused, until John turned back, eyes clear as held out his gift.

Bobby peered into the bag, expecting to find heaven, understanding he was not far off. Shocked, his eyes questioned, and John nodded, sure, doubtless, beautiful. Cock hot like fire, nestled on a cold thigh, Bobby gave into desire and leaned over heat, kissing molten lips.

"Are you sure?" Bobby whispered, voice unsteady, body like jelly.

"Yes," John said, simple in his words, trusting. Relaxing under Bobby's hands, breathing deeply to soothe his own nerves. And the excitement, so deep inside him, wondering how it would feel, eager to discover it. So completely sure there were no words to cement it.

Bobby's eyes were serious as his fingers moved between the spread legs, running over inner thigh to the space between balls and ass, thumbing the patch of skin. John shivered and leaned back completely, staring at the ceiling, fingers on chest, twisting and rubbing.

"Tell me if I'm doing anything dumb, all right? I need this to be good for you," Bobby muttered, dribbling lube on one, two, three fingers. Easy, right? One, two, three. Pictures flashed across his mind, how-tos, helpers. Do it like this, Bobby, don't be scared.

"Bobby," John said, "I'm sure."

"I know," came the quiet whisper, a touch arriving on one finger. John gasped, belly tightening then letting go, receiving the graze. A little bit of pain, but so new, so foreign, the hurt forgiven. A second finger, scissoring, slow and gentle, nervous but determined. Feeling good, better and better, just what he thought it would be at first. New and strange and very welcome. Third finger and oh so full, a shift of body to accommodate, a deep moan in the centre of a chest.

"It's okay, Bobby, go on. I'm ready."

Bobby withdrew his fingers and wiped them on the bed, forever marking the fabric as a reminder, a memory of what was done, of what was shared. Biting lower lip, Bobby set those handsome legs aside his hips and reached for the condom, plastic sheathing blinding hot desire. A pause, a little bit of fear, not quite knowing what to expect.

Then in him, _in him_ , just a little bit, but inside, where heat dwelled, fire so hot he felt it through latex. John closed his eyes, pain there, in the foreground, not too bad but enough, and Bobby, sensing it, stopped, paused in mid-action. A button pressed.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," John replied, voice caught on raw emotion, "just new. Big."

"You will be the only person to ever say that to me," Bobby joked, smiling so handsomely, so beautiful when he grinned. John smiled to himself, shifting, feeling the discomfort lessen, the fear with it. "Should I stop?"

"Don't fucking dare," John murmured, "don't you fucking dare."

A breath, completely relaxed again, and another push, going deeper, inch by inch, fingers rubbing over tight belly, calming excited nerves. Then there, inside, completely there, fully joined. Felt like heaven, pain gone far away and no longer welcome, just pleasure, pure and new, discovered by two in love.

"Good?" Bobby asked, leaning forward, resting on arms.

"Good," John agreed, eyes open, lips open, body open. All for Bobby, waited for Bobby, needed Bobby, had Bobby. Nearly screamed when Bobby moved, out then in, slowly, slowly, out then in, and John breathed deeply, rolling with it, wanting more and more.

Hand around his dick, John jumped, rose to Bobby's mouth, taking the kiss offered. Stroking the weeping cock, Bobby leaned down, pressing lips against lips, tongue against tongue, so hot and deep and wet. So perfect, so in love, so happy to be there, in John.

The release came in waves, Bobby first, stiffening, shooting, shrinking, hand paused on rock-hard cock before stroking once, twice, three times, catching the explosion in his palm, taking the gift, treasuring it. Men together, one creature, so in love.

The first live-action porno successfully filmed.

~~

Days fell in nights and the pre-summit meetings were over. Julio felt immense relief and was packed in ten minutes, ready to be bored again but looking forward to a change of scenery. Shatterstar sat by the window, watching young lovers hide from the world, basked in the light of a new day's sun as they watched it arrive.

"Do you think they slept together?" Shatterstar asked, hand resting on his knee.

"I think they made love," Julio replied, walking to the window and sitting next to that arched leg, leaning against the limb and mirroring the hand, palm against soft flesh. "Happy endings all around, I guess. We've done some good."

Shatterstar nodded, bowing forward, arms wrapping around his lover's chest, holding them together. "It will be hard for them. They are still so young. This world may not be ready for them. The world was not ready for us."

"It will be," Julio said softly, watching the boys talk, wondering why he felt so old. "Someday, we're going to wake up and it'll all be all right, no struggle, no fight, just equality for all, human, mutant, straight, gay and every shade in between. Some day, both our selves will be accepted."

"I hope so," Shatterstar replied, "I like to see people so happy."

Credits rolling.

A happy ending.


End file.
